first semester portfolio- peice Id like to revise

My cause effect essay is the piece of writing I would change some if I had a chance. The essay is about me and my family being snowed in for about 2 weeks during the big ice storm of 2006 or 2007. The effects were not good we were snowed in and without electricity for about 2 weeks. We had to use a kerosene heater and a generator and play board games. It wasn’t so bad because we could turn the house on for a few hours to do regular stuff. The problem was some of my smiley face tricks weren’t very good and I had some repletion of words, some run-ons and fragments. I needed to proof read some more, but I left most of it till the before it was do. If I had done all of this it could of better but it was still okay and interesting.


Snowed In

In the year of 2006 we had a huge ice storm. When the storm began, it snowed and blew for a couple of days. On the first day you couldn't tell much accept that there was a lot of snow and it was cold. On the second day it was the same but the electricity went out because the snow turned to ice and broke the power lines. On the third day it was still snowing and the electricity was out; it went on this way for 10 more days.

First, we got our gas heater and our generator out and got those ready. We used the heater at night and slept in one room because it got very cold. When we went to bed, my brother and I had to sleep on an air mattress and put a curtain over the door to stay warm. In the morning it was so cold it felt as though icesicles were hanging from our noses. When we wanted to cook something hot, use the house furnace or watch TV we used our generator. We played many board games and cards because there was nothing else to do. Sometimes I also went outside and played in the snow or rode 4 wheeler.

Next, there was lots of ice and snow on the road, so most of the time we couldn't drive on the road. If we did drive on the roads, it would be like walking on an ice rink without skates. Once in a while the roads cleared up and we got to go to town, and get food and other things. The only other times we drove on the road was to check on things and see if they were working on the electricity wires. Sometimes when it wasn't very cold out, I would drive our 4 wheeler around and slide around on the ice, and make forts in the snow.

Lastly, before the county started plowing snow we moved some snow off the road ourselves. Also because of all the snow we had to use hay bales to feed our cows. When the snow started to melt, they started to put up new poles and wires for electricity. It wasn't so bad the first 8 days then we couldn't wait until the power came back on. When it did come on and most of the snow and ice melted, we could go back to work and school and get more food.

All in all, we had fun playing board games and doing other stuff, but after the first week we wanted the power to come back on. We had to make food last until we could get to town. We also had to do more work, but were very happy to get back to work and school and have electricity. So if you have big ice storm like this and the electricity goes out, get a small generator, some kind of gas heater, and use a lot of blankets to keep warm.